can eny one revise my story end edit it a little / points on what needs more work and point out eny errors?
Ted had a harsh time in the Army and was going insane, he thought of nothing but getting out! He wanted the pain the beatings and the drills to just stop. He felt like he was living every day over and over like it would never stop.
Ted wasn’t the only one, there were two others Kevin and Ty that felt the same. Ted sought to find them the next day but unfortunately he had more drills to do. It just happened that Ted ran into Kevin on a charge at some trees. Kevin was smart but a scrawny little guy that didn’t have any wits and was scared easily.
No one knew why Kevin joined the Army. Ted approached him cautiously, trying not to scare him, but he did and Kevin had turned and stabbed a solder straight through the heart. Blood splattered every where. Ted, speechless looked in horror at the dead soldier. when he looked back to see Kevin, he was gone! He was alone no one could help him no one could save him. Ted shouted, “is any one out there!” But no one answered. As Ted waited for something to happen he heard a quiet sound off in the distance. Ted stood up and called again, “is there any one out there,” he yelled. Again he got no answer. At that point he noticed the quiet sound turned to a high pitched whistle. The sound was coming towards him! There was a burst of light and all around him were his comrades screaming in agony, others in a heated rage of battle against southern rebels! The whistling sound grew deeper and closer as he looked around he saw his parents screaming in his face to come home to leave the Army. Ted started walking towards them when. Boom!! A cannon shell had exploded right onto his parents blowing them to bits! Ted was thrown a couple of feet. He screamed and pulled his muskets trigger! Ted felt the burning metal of the mini ball go through his chin and into his scull scrambling his brain.
He was dead but he was still screaming and he was now lying down on a mattress of straw and some wool blankets back in his smelly old
Army tent. He heard a huff in the tent next to him, a soldier screaming, shut up its 4:00 in the morning! Ted was really scared now. He has been having dreams like that for several days and they scare him more and more every time. The dreams seemed like they were true and his parents are in danger and he has to go home to them right away, but Ted knows that he can’t just get up and go home. He would be shot on the spot trying to escape or they would capture him and punish him severely make him do the worst jobs. I know have reasons for wanting to escape now, he says to him self. Soon Ted fell into a deep sleep. Ted’s deep sleep didn’t last long because two hours later Ted was suddenly woken up by his Sergeant, James Edmond Pease. Apparently the morning bugler had already called and he was the last one up. A few hours Ted found him self scrubbing dishes with out having any lunch as a punishment for not getting up right away in the morning. Ted was really frustrated now because through out his whole time in the Army it’s been nothing but misery. Ted found Kevin that night and talked to him about leaving they also went to find Ty after they found him they did every thing as they normally would do except that they decided to meet in Ted’s tent right before bed time to discuss the plans for escape. The plan was to leave at about 2:30 in the morning and meet by Ted’s tent, and then from there they would go as quietly as possible to the nearest stream they knew of towards the North. Then they would follow the stream north and too freedom.
Ted did not sleep that night, he was too excited and nervous about the whole running away from the Army thing. Ted was just about to get up when some one knocked on his tent and whispered, “Ted hurry up and get out here.” Ted jumped to his feet and pulled on his clothes and grabbed his gun as fast as he could. When Ted got out of his tent Kevin immediately asked him if his gun was loaded. Ted shook his head and said, “no”. Just from the sound of Kevin’s voice he new that some thing was up. Ted demanded Kevin tell him at once or he wasn’t going any where. “There is no time we got to Skedaddle !,”Kevin said. That’s when Ted noticed that they weren’t going to be waiting up for Ty. Before Ted could ask Kevin any thing else, Kevin was already moving off to the trees ushering him to follow. Ted and Kevin crept as quietly as possible through the trees along the camp trying to keep as out of sight as possible. They had made it for about two miles through the woods when Ted grabbed hold of Kevin in to the bushes. There were two picket men on horses not 30 feet away on the edge of the woods. They were on alert looking for something. “Likely fugitive soldiers,” Ted thought. He was right, as Ted and Kevin waited there the two picket men started talking about a man that was caught earlier, this is what Kevin was so worried about Ted thought. Ty must have been caught sneaking through the camp in the dead of night and the officers expect there to be more soldiers trying to run away too. He couldn’t of been more right as of 5 minuets later two more men on horses rode up .“We have two more missing muggings both out of there tents, we suspect there heading North,” said one of the men. Then one man got off his horse and started to walk towards Ted and Kevin. The other men called out “Sergeant where are you going?”. The sergeant responded “I have this weird feeling.” Than as the Sergeant turned to face the other officers Kevin couldn’t take it any more and took off running through the woods. Ted wasn’t prepared for this and it took him some time to notice what was happening before he started running trying to follow Kevin. The picket men had jumped just as Ted had jumped out from the trees and started running and where hot on his tail. Ted did not make it far for he had a shower of bullets hit the trees next to him making him flop onto the ground in cover. The next day Kevin went to trial. It was a very close trial that had almost cost him his life but was spared because the other soldiers in the regiment had wanted to see him suffer. He was set to clean up the other soldiers messes, clean the latrines, and get the worst jobs you could get and to be put up onto the front of the line for the next battle.


Oh my god! I actually read this stuff. You should not torture the kindly Q&A crowd.