I’m 14 and I think im creative. the twilight saga is amazing in my opinion. so I decide to try, but unsuccessfully finish a supernatural romance story. Instead of vampires i was thing about using zombies, but they aren’t gross, they are quite good looking thankyouverymuch. i just can’t finish it, so if you could tell me if i should continue or give up because it’s a lost cause, it would be greatly appreciated.
(sorry it’s long, thanks for your time)

This is it:
The day was unusually sunny and beautiful. As if the whole world was happy that my little world was coming to an end. I sat by the little stream, which was about a half a mile from my house, to think out my situation. I mean sure, I cannot say that I was completely blind sighted by this whole ordeal. I could still hear Grandma Edans’ unusually boastful voice playing over in my head: “Really, Aleene, women would get married at ages younger then sixteen when I was growing up. I was married to your grandfather, bless his soul, at age 13.”
I hadn’t argued back because the cause was hopeless, and it wasn’t only grandmother I had to convince, it was-if I had to get an estimate- every member of my family. We lived in the ‘past’. Generations after generation of the woman in my family have been married off to the men in the city of Berkenshire. That was how my mother came to marry my father. She was 17-the oldest and last of grandmothers’ daughters to get married- and father had been 34. It was a year after the marriage that I was conceived.
After the birth mother had taken ill, fathers’ angry disposition only got worse. I remembered that everyday after my work had been done, I would sit by mother in her bed. We would chat for a while about the people in town and the pleasant parts of her childhood and-when we were sure no one could hear- teach me lessons from schoolbooks. Father never really liked these lessons and he made it very, very clear that he didn’t want them going on. Mother never listened. She said that she was going to teach me even if it was the last thing she did. And it was. Whenever father had caught mother teaching these lessons he’d kick me out of the room and lock the door so that he could “talk” to mother privately.
The funeral was the day after one of these talks. “It was what she had deserved.” Both grandmother and father agreed to this. My mother deserved much more. They thought of her as a disease waiting to be cured and finally gotten rid of.
And now here I was in here following in her foot steps-she would be so ashamed of me. I was being shipped away like a piece of furnisher. Grandmother thought that I was being foolish. “You should be ecstatic”, she yelled, “In time like these you’re lucky to even find a man willing to marry.”
That was all fine and dandy, but being forced to move halfway across the world-it seemed- was just a little unorthodox. I couldn’t comprehend how they could be so impatient. Surely, if we were to wait a few more years there would be another man and then there wouldn’t be a reason for me to leave. I had grown up in this town-the memories here weren’t always pleasant- but it was the only place I knew, felt secure in. Outside of Berkenshire was unknown.
“Aleene! Where are you, girl?” the voice interrupted my train of thought.
I stood up warily; as to revile my hiding spot- I wouldn’t be using it anymore anyway. “Yes, over here!”
“Hurry up and start packing, the cab will be coming for you tomorrow early. They’ll be no time to pack anything in the morning.”
It was so like my grandmother to be able to scream that loud. Sighing, I turned to stomp back to the house.
The word ‘house’ hardly described the vicinity in which my father, grandmother and I resided in. The out side walls had been nailed together so quickly they were only half in the wall, you could even see the ends of some sticking through the wall. The word walls were hardly a good word to call them, also. There were gaps between each plank and you could, basically, see the inside of the house from the outside. The inside was no better, but the details are as insignificant for there really wasn’t much there. There were four “rooms” and as I opened the door, I walked into the first one.
My father sat in a wooden stool in the corner the furthest away eating a piece of bread. “Serve the food.” He said without really acknowledging me.
I hurried quickly to the other side of the room that my Grandmother was on. She was mixing a large pot of some bean, I think. I was a much better cook then her, but she couldn’t work on anything other then the cooking.
I took a plate and dumped a big clump of the beanie looking substance onto it.
“Here you go, sir.” I said, carefully trying to hide the disgust in my voice.
He nodded and turned his attention full onto the food.
Grandmother was next to sit down. She hobbled noisily over to the second stool, as soon as she got as comfortable as possible she called to me to bring her food.
As soon as they were done eating, I washed their dishes and ate a piece of bread. As soon as all the dishes were done, I went back outside.
My life is completely pitiful, I thought, how can anyone in their sane mind be upset about leaving this place? My whole life had been full of beatings, loses, and disappointments. Leaving it all behind should be a relief and exciting. I’d hardly ever been off the little land my father owned and now I was traveling to a new and exciting place.
New and exciting was what I had hoped for at least. Father and Grandmother still hadn’t told me where I would be going, ‘unimportant’ they had both called it. “How can something like this be unimportant?” I had asked.
“Don’t you worry your little uneducated mind about it,” father had sneered.
“You shouldn’t be so noisy! Don’t you want to be surprised when you get there?” grandmother had harshly teased.
Well, it won’t be long now until I figure out, exactly, where they are shipping me off, too. At that thought I look up at the sky, it was getting dark. Only a few more hours to live like this, hopefully the next life I was being carted away to would be more promising.
I let my mind drift to when I should start my packing. A normal person would have started packing much more in advance, but normal people have many possessions. Myself, I had only a few particles of clothing and one or two books- that father knew nothing of, of course. I could just stuff them into a bag in a matter of seconds- finding something to carry my few possessions in would most likely take longer then packing them.
I looked up at the sky again and sighed, might as well get it over with.
My room was the size of a small closet. There was a makeshift bed on the floor and a little candle in a tine sardine box. The floor was made of dirt and it was moist since it had been raining.
I took my blanket and laid it flat out on top-of what could be considered under the category of-a mattress. I decided that was the only, thing I would ever be able to find suitable for carrying things-I didn’t plan on sleeping much tonight anyway. On top of the blanket I placed the few shirts and skirts I owned, hidden beneath that I placed my two books. Finally, I tied the ends of the blanket together and ‘done’.
Sighing again for the millionth time to day, I laid down on my so-called mattress.
Staring up at the ceiling, I could see the sun and the bright ocean sky had been replace by the moon and a background of dark velvet.
“Not much longer now”, I mumbled.
Grandmother had said the cab, that was going to take me to my new life, would be here before noon. So, that gave me only a few hours to myself.
I hadn’t wanted to fall asleep-what a waste of a last day it would be- but I fell asleep anyway.
I walking down a bright sunny road, the sky even brighter then it had been today. The plants were swaying in the cool summer breeze and of in the distance I could hear the sound of a creek running against stones. The sun felt marvelous, the perfect temperature, heating my skin so I, even with the cool breeze, couldn’t even think about shivering. It looked like a giant glowing pearl lost in a sea of light blue. I was all alone on the sunny road, but I felt better that way- somebody else with me would’ve ruined the moment. I sighed and took a deep gulp of the fresh air. Suddenly something flashed. It looked like someone was reflecting a mirror off the sun. I curiously stumbled forward- what could be reflective here. It flashed again except this time it was in a different direction, infact; it looked like it was moving- running, maybe. I started to pick up my pace until I was flat out sprinting after the flashing object.
How could something move so quickly? I kept urging my legs to move fast but I could hardly keep the object within the seeing distance. Suddenly, my bright warming sun was replaced by a barren land with a heavy clouded overcast. I froze- my lungs were burning from the lack of air from all of the running I had done- above my head was a coal black cloud. It was massive in size and seemed to stretch further then the eye could see. Lighting and thunder struck and mumbled from inside the cloud, but the storm hadn’t started yet. The wind was more fierce then the cool gentle breeze before, I put my head down, but a figure a few yard away from my caught my eye.
It was a man older then thirty, but not old looking in anyway. He was disturbingly beautiful- I, almost, wanted to bow or at least look away. However, he was much too beautiful, his feature dangerous, as if warning me to try to get away. I was completely enthralled. He kept taking steps- one slowly at a time- towards me. He was ten feet away when I could clearly see his features.
He was pale-like he had been looked in a dark room for months. His hair was black and below his ears. He had a piercing that went through the center of his nose. He was muscular and the black cloak he wore showed that perfectly. I got to his eyes and gave a horrified gasp. They were pitch black, darker then a nightmare. My heart beat furiously, as if telling me to run, in my chest.
The man gave a wide smile revealing a pair of razor sharp blades of teeth. “Welcome home, my wife.” He purred.
He lunged at the speed of light. I gave a horrified scream, but it was pointless his razor teeth were dripping with blood as he went for another bite…..
I woke up screaming; my heart pounding so heard it felt like a bomb was about to explode inside of me. It was a horrible feeling, indescribable. I held my chest and it took me a few more seconds to realize I was still screaming.
“I swear I could kill that wretched girl. She’s lucky its here last day here or I might’ve made it her last day on this world.” Father was grumbling from the outside of his door.
I quickly got up and walked-out of one of the large holes in my wall- outside. Fathers’ angry heavy footsteps had just started stomping to my room. He was mumbling something hurtful and I was in enough pain from my dream- I wasn’t really in the “mood” for a much more physical beating.
The sky was blossoming again, brighter-if possible- then yesterday. The sun felt nice against my skin, but felt like nothing compared to how it had in my dream.
I was leaving in a mere few hours and I felt almost ready. There was still something I had to do.
The path to my mothers’ grave was covered in weeds from lack of use. I, myself, only came up once a month at the least- I should’ve made the trip more often, but it hurt for some reason. If my mother could only see me now, she’d be so disappointed. She spent her last days trying to make me become something important and I end up going down the same path she tried so hard to prevent.
She claimed, in one of our lessons, that as long as I didn’t end up as she had, that she would be proud of me. Surely, this can be a different path. This new husband of mine will not take advantage of me.
The little apple tree my mother was buried on came into view. The tree itself would hardly be considered a bush, my mothers’ grave was crumbling, and covered in weeds, the grass was growing untamed and wild.
I always used to make an effort to try to clean up- in the earlier years of my mothers’ death- but there was no use. Every time I cleaned up her grave the next time I came back it was n even worse shape.
I sat down, resting my back against her grave.
“Well, mother…I’m sure you’ve heard… I am getting married. Now, I know it’s not exactly the career choice you wanted for me, but I’m learning to deal with it. Maybe it won’t be quite so bad. I’m sure that father and grandmother didn’t do me any mercy with the man they chose, but you have to roll with the punches the father and grandmother throw.” I laughed at my pitiful little joke.
The tears just started to pour out after that. I hardly ever cry and I wasn’t really sure what had provoked me, too. Maybe it was the fact that I was going completely insane and talking to a bunch of fallen rocks or the fact that what lay ahead of me was dangerous and unknown. Whatever the reason the tears just wouldn’t stop falling.
It felt like I was sitting there for hours, my eyes were sore from all the crying. I sullenly got up and with one last regretful apologetic look and started to walk back to what-soon wouldn’t– be my home.
My feet my scraping sounds as I slid them depressingly along the dirt path. I kicked a small stone lost in thought, so I tripped a few times. Whenever I was lost in thought, I was unusually clumsy.
I looked up, after what seemed like ages, to find my barely sanding house, Parked next to it was a yellow taxicab. The cab was small and all the windows were open.
My heart skipped beats. I can’t believe this is it- I’m starting all over from this point on. I am now no longer going to be Aleene Abel- or whatever my new last name will be. I wonder if father and grandmother will come to my wedding- if I’m having one at all. I laughed aloud at the thought. Grandmother and father doing something for me and besides, I wouldn’t want them to be at my wedding anyway. However, they are the only people I would know to invite.
I was suddenly feeling excited, I guess the thought of an unknown future excited me. After all, it was the only excitement of the sixteen and a half years that I’d ever felt. As I approached the “door” of the front of my home, I felt myself truly and genially happy for the first time in a while. I didn’t even know why.
“Aleene, is that you?” I heard my grandmothers’ high piercing voice ask from the other side of the door.
“Yes, grandmother”, I said as I opened the door and stepped inside.
My father was slouching on a chair against the wall, his eyes fixed in a mesmerized gaze at the man sitting tall and elegant in the stool in the middle of the room.
The man was older then fifty, but he was still good-looking. Not like the handsome kind of good-looking, but like the grandfatherly type. He looked like the kind of person who you could tell secrets and jokes to, the type person who would give you candy and tell you old exciting stories. Though he was old, he hardly showed traces of age. The only wrinkles on his head were those on his forehead from his raised eyebrows, as he waited patently. He had a full head of hair that was a dark brownish-gray. His eyes looked black, but when the glint of the sun caught his eye, I saw a bit of green-were the most terrifying enthralling part of him.
After a few minutes of my observing him, the man finally spoke, “So, my dear, it’s a pure pleasure to be in your presence. I’m called Powell. My master has a strong delight in beautiful women, I highly doubt he will be displeased.”
At that note my father snorted, a cruel hateful laughing sort of thing.
“Aleene? Beautiful? She’s a monster. She wreaks havoc wherever she stands. A disaster waiting to happen.”
The man, named Powell, just turned and gave my father a patient waiting stare.
“Well…whatever. She’s your…problem now.” Father managed to blurt out before he became mesmerized again.
“Aleene? That’s a beautiful name. It rolls of the tongue lovely. How old are you my dear?”
“I’ll be 17 in a month.” I replied it emotionlessly. Any of the excitement I had felt had vanished once I looked into this mans eyes. They looked like the eyes of the monster from my nightmare.
Powell seemed to sense my fear because he turned to my grandmother and asked if it was alright if we departed.
“Yes I suppose it’s best you leave now.” Then grandmother turned to me, “I’ll miss you, now I’m going to be stuck doing all of the work. Your lazy *** of a father sure as hell won’t”
“Shut you mouth, Hag!” My father retorted waking from his trance.
I walked down the steps, my little bag of clothes in one had, for the last time. Powell met me at the stairs, took my little clothes bag, and put it in the trunk. Then he ran swiftly to the door and held it open for me.
The leather seat felt cool against my legs and the wind blew playfully through the open windows. The countryside speeded by like pictures. The smell of wildflowers growing, wafted through the windows lulling my into a claming state. I soon fell into a deep sleep.
“Aleene, dear? Wake up we are almost to your new home.”
I groggily opened my eyes-in a matter of seconds I was wide-awake. We were riding through the strangest town I’d ever seen. The buildings were made of different shapes and there seemed to be a path along every street that shielded you from the sun.
“There’s your new home.” Powell said boredly. It was as if he’d said it a hundred times before.
In the center of the madness of this city, there was the largest house I’d ever seen. It looked like it could’ve been pretty at one time, but now just looked like it was inhibited with the living dead.
“Um…Powell? I’m not sure if I should be doing this, would taking me back home be a option?”
“Sorry, my dear, but we have arrived at your new home. It’s a few hours to late to turn back.”
I sighed, this whole thing is much more complicated then I thought. The cab slowly halted.
“Well, Aleene, I suggest you take a deep breath to steady yourself. You’re looking a little shaken.”
“This is really my new home?” I was in shocked, the place was massive.
“Yes.” He sounded annoyed, “What reason would I have for lying?”
I decided that it was a rhetorical question and a stepped out of the car onto the gravel driveway.
The house was a bright reddish brick, but most of it was covered in thick thorny vines. There were many plants, or what was left of them. Everything near the house was dead, the trees had no leaves and bushed looked like they would turn to dust if you touched them. Parts of the brick not covered by the vines were crumbling and it was eerie and unusually quite, even though the town was only a few minutes away
I thought it was amazing.
“Now, Aleene dear, I know the place it looking a little depressing, but I’m sure with you help we can have it looking tip-top in no time.” Powell said reassuringly.
“Why would I want to change anything? It’s so interesting looking. How old is this house?”
“It was built in Victorian times. One of the best time to live in, in my opinion.” He said with a distant look in his near black eyes.
“I can see why you would say that, this place is beautiful.”
“As were many things back then,” he eyed me, ”Well, I suppose now if as good a time as ever to introduce you to your new family.”
They appeared as if they had been called for, four dark figures appeared. It took me by surprise for I hadn’t seen or heard them coming.
“I apologize did we frighten you?” The older looking man said. I couldn’t answer, their eyes…
“Aleene Abel, Master. Isn’t she a work of art? She has lovely looking kin doesn’t she, Master?” Powell spoke with such respect you’d think he was talking to royalty.
“Her skin does look very soft, Powell.” The man said, if you could call him that.
I, also, didn’t like how they were talking about me as if I was a enatiment object, but I was still held in shock by those eyes.
The man looked at me curiously for a few seconds before he slapped his hand to his head and cried out in surprise, “Oh my, where’s my manners?! I was rude enough to not introduce ourselves. My name is Duff Isis, I’m the lucky husband.”
He smiled reveling his teeth, which were blindingly white and unusually sharp, were blanketed with ruby red lips that seemed to pop off of the extremely pale face. His features were sharp and flawless and he looked like the type of man who would send twenty year old women out of their minds. His eyes were a extremely dark browm- they seemed to have the same cloudy blackness that Powell’s had. His brown hair hung in a loose pony tail reveiling a tattoo in the shape of a cross with a snake on it.
“He seemed to see me staring at it, “I got into some trouble when I was younger. I was a silly kid luckily, I’ve grown up.” He smiled wide again.
“This is my daughter Dominique. She’s nineteen.”
Great I have a step daughter older then me.
Dominique had the same horrifying look as Duff, but her beauty was blinding. Her velvet brown hair hung in perfect curls below her shoulders and reflected off her pale skin beautifully. Her body was full of perfect curves and made me a little self-consciousness of my twig like self. Her eyes were also a dark blue but they seemed lighter then Duffs.
“This is my son, Chasen, he just turned twenty.”
Chasen looked like one of the highschool jocks you’d see in movies, only a hundred times more musculed and way better looking. He had eyebrows that shadowed his eyes, which were dark enough. He had a army looking cut which made him look even more ferocious.
“And this is my nephew Evan Swift, he was my sister’s, bless her souls, son.
Evan looked my age maybe a little older and he was probable the most beautiyfullest person I’ve ever seen in my life. His skin was pale, but not as pale as his snow white family members.He had a very slender body-almst as slim as mine- but he still seemed to be very strong. He had shggy black hair which was laying over his eyes. Though that wouldn’t stop you from noticing them, they were light and looked like water from a stream…
“Your eyes..”, I mumbled unintelligently. “They aren’t black.”
Even looked at me shocked, “Excuse me?”
I almost fainted when I heard it, his voice made my heart pound with love and admiration. It also didn’t help that he stared at me intensely with those heavenly eyes.
“Well, maybe we should move this conversation on till later. You look tired Aleene dear, maybe you would like to rest?” Duff asked, though it was more like a command.
“I’ll show her to her room, Master.”
Even Swift was still staring at me when we reached the door- it was a wonder he didn’t trip over anything. I kept my head down so I could avoid his gaze.
When we climbed up the five flights of stairs to my room- I seemed to be the only one breathing heavely. Duff once said they could move my room down a floor or two later on.
When we finally did get to my room everyone vanished except Powell.
“I hope you like your room, Aleene.”
“It’s very… purple.”
And it was. Every square inch of the room seemed to be covered in a velvety purple drapery. Even the lights seemed to send of a purple glow.
“Yes, my Master enjoys color coordnation.”
“I can deffenetly see that.”
It went on awkwardly like this for a few more minutes before Powell made up a imagionary problem just so he could leave.
“What is going on?” I thought out loud.
“Nothing of importance- oh, sorry.” Evan said when he saw he startled me.
“It’s not your fault, you guys are just really quite.”
“Yeah, I guess. Sorry though, I should have knocked. Dinner will be served soon.”
“Oh, ok thank you.”
“You pack very lightly for a person who just moved.” He said eyeing my little blanket filled with clothes.
“It was hardly a home, and I like to repress and rid myself of bad memories.”
“I see”, Evan said thoughtfully.
“So if you don’t mind me asking, what happened to Mrs. Isis?”
“She fell off a cliff.” He said boredly.
“Oh my gosh! Was she pushed?”
“I don’t know I wasn’t there. Duff brought her body back.”
“Oh.” The last sentence didn’t really comphort me.
We sat in silence for a while, I kept wondering when he would make up a excuse about being somewhere.
“I hope you don’t mind eating alone. Duff, Dominique and Chasen won’t be joining you. I could if you wanted..” He added peeking at me under his eyelashes, his beautiful eyes glowing.
“Um… if you really wanted to, I don’t want to be a bother. Why aren’t they eating?”
“We ate already.”
“Well, if you ate too I won’t have you sit with me.”
“It’s ok. I’ve nothing better to do anyway.” He smiled wider then Duff had, those his Evan’s wasn’t as intimating.
“So”, I said we had been chatting openly while I ate my food, “What’s up with your eyes? Is it some new rich fad, or something?”
“I’ve no clue what you’re talking about.”
“Of course you do, how could you not? You and your family have- what?” When I said the word family his face twisted in disgust.
“Nothing. You’re just mking a big deal over something foolish.” He replied coldly.
I felt my face get hot, maybe I was getting worked up over nothing… It was probable just a coincidence that I had such a strange dream, or maybe I’m just imagioning the color of their eyes…
“Are you okay?” Evan asked curiously.
“Yeah, just thinking.”
“So does your family miss you?” He said this the way Powell had said before, as if he’d said it a hundreds of times before.
I don’t know what took over me at that moment, but I just poured my guts out on the table. “My father and grandmother **** me,” I started, watching his face carefully, “they consider me to be the biggest waste of space. They probably also think that me moving out was the greatest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”
He stared at me dumbfounded- probably wondering what had possessed me to tell him all this, I wish I knew.
“What about your mother? Surely there’s someone who would miss you.”
“My mother di- she was killed. She used to love teaching me things, father didn’t approve. One day he decided that enough was enough.” I felt my eyes watering, “she expected so much more of me, if she saw me now she’d be so disappointed.” I added mostly to myself.
Evan looked at me with such concentration that he seemed to resemble a statue. I took the moment to fully look at him. He was beautiful. Every square inch seemed to be carved to perfection. No, nobody would be able to carve that.
Finally he spoke, “I’m so sorry. Loosing someone is extremely hard. I… It’s… Sometimes,” It seemed to me that he was trying to choose his words carefully.
“It’s okay, I don’t need sympathy. It happened a long time ago.”
“What I’m trying to say is if you ever need to talk, I’ll be here.”
“Thank you. Ummm…so I have a somewhat strange question. Since Duff is my….well, you know. What does that make you?”
Evan smiled politely, “Duff isn’t particuarlly interested in marrying you in the proper sense. He just doesn’t want to arouse suspision. It’s sad what the neighbors seem to find interesting.”
“So he took me from my home, just to have me play a role?” I was shocked, this wasn’t how I had imagined things.
Evan looked down at the floor and seemed suddenly sad
“For the moment, yes, that is all he wants from you. And”, he said trying to smile, “This place has to be a step up from your origional home?”
“Yes. But maybe I could visit sometime. My mothers’ grave is their.”
“Yes, maybe someday.” The same pained look came into his eyes.
“What is it? Is there something wrong?”
“Nothing at all”, He recovered perfectly, maybe I was imagining things again.
“You look tired. I’ll walk you to your door.”
I didn’t relize how tired I was. Evan had to hold my arm up-his hand was ice cold. I shivered.
“Sorry”, he mumbled using his sleeve to cover his hand.
As soon as I was in my room