My husband always tells me that I annoy him.what should I do?
Hi Everyone,
I really need some advice. My husband always tells me that I annoy him. I could ask him a simple question like “How was your day at work?” and he tells me that I’m annoying him. Or, I might ask him to answer a question that I have or check on something for me…Just anything! And he will say you’re annoying me or I’m busy!!! And the times that he says I’m busy he’s not even doing anything…This is a constant process…we don’t talk anymore and everytime I try talking to him he blows me off. What should I do? He’s in the army and he’s kind of my security blanket right now because I don’t have a job…I don’t wanna leave him because I still love him but I’m not in love with him anymore. I dunno, I know this is a lot…but I just need some great advice as to what I should do.
Thanks:)
Kitty Kat…this goes to you Sweetheart:) Yes, my hubby is putting his life on the line for this country but I have been with him for 6 year putting up with his BS! Ok, he’s in the army…but that doesn’t mean that he can treat me like crap whether I have a job or not!!! You said that you were annoyed by me??? Well, since I annoy you so much how about don’t answer anymore of my questions and keep your stupid insensitive answers to yourself. Have a good day:)
Ok, the second details was a response to Kitty Kat who made a smart remark about my hubby being in the army and I shouldn’t be whining because he puts himself on the line everyday for this country…I just responded to what she said. I try to talk to my husband and he just doesn’t open up…we’ve been together since we were teenagers 16 and 18. When we were younger he would open up a little but it was still emotionless. I’m a stay at home mom ( I should have mentioned that before). We have a 4 year old son…and, we just moved to a new duty station so looking for a job and daycare has been somewhat hard for me. There is so much more to this situation then what i can write in these few paragraphs. And, I know I have my issues (who doesn’t) and I’m not blaming everything on him…it’s just hard to be told that I’m annoying him everyday when all I want is to know how his day went or if he could help me with something.
And, I do still love my husband…the love just isn’t the same like it was when were were teenagers.
live in misery try couples therapy or end it those are pretty much your options.
Tell him that’s your job to annoy him.
i say annoy him more. sounds like he deserves it.
Alway say “Is this a good time to talk?”
Buy another husband,you need help to find one?go to a military base.
He is risking HIS life for OUR country and you are making him YOUR ‘security blanket’?!?!?!?!
I am annoyed as well.
Get a job. A whiny wife that does not work gets old to ANY man.
You **** your life and are projecting your boredom on him.
Everyone needs their space at times, try to talk to him after he’s rested and less tired? He maybe stressed out. He shouldn’t be offensive toward you, that’s not right.
Your marriage isn’t going to get better if he’s saying that. He’s never going to change. Divorce him, or he might still be with you b/c he’s thinking “Cheaper to Keep Her” . Good Luck
Being “in love” is probably the most important thing in a marriage to most people, so it’s pretty simple. Don’t waste any time with Mr. Wrong that you can spend searching for Mr. Right. Get a job then find a roommate.
Break it off. He sounds like he wants to or he is going to break it off anyway. Just be friends. And divorce with a settlement or something. Or otherwise, Stop talking to him, live that separate life than because there obviously is no chemistry anymore
You need to find a way to be secure on your own whether you stay married to him or not.
He may not sound open to getting counseling
You need to work on getting some job skills yo keep yourself busy unless your busy being a full time mom.
“I still love him but I’m not in love with him” well that says it all dont you think? Get on your own two feet and divorce him. Nobody needs someone who constantly puts you down and makes you doubt yourself. I say stand up and be your own person. Move on with your life – you will be happier when you find someone who appreciates you.
When he tells you that you are annoying him… you need to take a stand. Ask him “Who the hell do you think I am? I am your wife…an equal. Just because you go out everyday and congregate with your peers doesn’t get you off the hook of being a husband at home. The next time you want dinner or some extra attention don’t look to me because I am busy too trying to find a way to support myself if this is how it is gonna.” If that is how it is gonna be than you are goin to have to take the plunge and find a way to support yourself.
You should work on your marriage and not give up so easily but at the sametime you can not do it alone. I am sorry you have to put up with an ungrateful jerk but you can not live like that for the rest of your life either. You are human and deserve attention and love and respect.
You are not guilty, yet you are willing to serve jail time. Are you listening to yourself? Why would you put up with such neglect and emotional abuse. Slavery was abolished a long time ago. You are free to go and get yourself a job and not be a slave to his cruel abusive behavior. Stop loving that creature and start loving yourself.
I’m really sorry for what you are going through, but regardless of the fact that you love him, you don’t deserve this amount of neglect. SO, get yourself a job, start saving up and start standing up for what you to make you happy..
Have you two really sat down and talked about this issue. He may not realize that he is doing it to you. It may be that he is stressed about work or money or whatever and when you say something, he responds out of kind instead of thinking about things. But if you have not communicated your irritation to him then he may be completely oblivious to your feelings. If that does not seem plausible, then perhaps and this is even more difficult it sounds like, you may need to seek some counseling together to help both of you work through the problem. The military does offer several places to go, Mental Health clinic, Chaplain or sometimes the Legal Office.
Good luck
How about you go spend some time in your family. Maybe being apart will do him some good…or it will give you some answers about what you want for your future. I was 15 years with a man in the Army I know all about that security blanket, like you I never thought I could do without it but I did it. In fact I did better once outside of that world. So that is my advice: You have a sister living on the other side of the country? you have a mother living a couple of hours away? pack some stuff and take a break to come back with a decision.
don’t talk to him for a while. See if that is less annoying for him
OK Sweetheart, He’s in the Army…think about it he has to answer to a lot of people through out the day and he may be a little tired when he come home to the answer, question session you’re drilling him with. He may feel the pressure to hold down the fort…$$$..wise for both of you since you do not have a job. I think you need to step up to the plate and work on your relationship. Since he is at work all day is there anything you could do for him that might switch up the conversation….guys do love the house smelling great ..(DINNER COOKING)…after a hard days work…so put a little thought into it…maybe he thinks you need to do more to help…and you 2 need to talk…ask him…what he likes about your relationship and what he doesn’t and you let him know your ideas…you’re young you’re married and you need to work through your problems as a couple,
He is shutting you out of his life. This is not a marriage when one person thinks only about themself. Ignore him for awhile and get some hobbies or a life of your own and then he will be asking you how was your day.
geesh- reading the additional details, first of all, no one should stay with anyone just because they are a security blanket. maybe he knows you are not in love with him anymore and that would be obvious that ure using him, , and thats why he says you’re annoying him. i think maybe you are confused about what you want. i think he should leave you, at first i would have said you leave him, but after i read what you said, it sounds like he should be the one who makes you leave or he should leave you. . and ure marriage has nothing to do with him putting his life on the line for this country. don’t try to use that one! you dont even love him anymore. why dont you just move on and quit whining about how he says ure annoying. Good luck.
It seems you have been put between a rock and a hard place. I would however when you do get the chance to start thinking about what you can do to better your future by either getting counseling or leaving him in the future.
Do you have someone that you can tell that is in charge of him? A lot of times there superior officers will not stand for behavior like that and discipline him and also get him the help he needs. Also did this just start? Has he been deployed in the war? This could cause a lot of these things he is saying. Not excusing him because this is just not right, but might explain stress.
Do you have any family that can help you get out of this situation if it doesn’t work out?
You mostly need to get counseling and he needs to be confronted and be held accountable for what he has said to you.