I had always moved around alot when I was a child
and I have always had an easy time making new friends when I moved as a child
however
once I got alittle older, everything changed
I still move around alot
but I never seem to make new friends

right now, I can honestly say, the last time I was in the presence of a friend was three years ago…on my 18 birthday
I moved on my birthday, and I haven’t been able to make new friends ever since

now I’m married and I’m having a baby
my husband is in the military, and he has alot of friends in his platoon
he hangs out with them every couple weeks
I on the other hand…I am a stay at home wife and student, about to be a mother…
I have no way of making friends since I don’t work and my classes are online
all of my neighboors are hispanic and I have yet to find one who speaks english (and I don’t speak spanish well enough to hold up a conversation)
…I even tried to fit in with the other army wives who live on base, but that is difficult because my husband and I have an apartment off base and the other army wives are all very clicky…I’ve never felt so alone

My husband is a wonderful man
a great support through everything- he helps me study for school, he has been amazing with attending all my birthing classes with me and helping prepare the nursery, he makes sure I get out of the house often…but he’s my only human companion, my only family AND my only friend…I feel as if I need a girl friend, someone outside my marriage, the way that he has his army buddies

I keep in contact with my old friends via phone and letters
but they all live about 20 hours away from where I live now

I don’t have any family-
my mother left when I was a year old
and the state took me away from my father when I was 14 because he was abusive

I cry all the time
I try to fill the void by keeping busy:
I bake from scratch, I sew blankets for my baby’s nursery…
I have 5 very spoiled pets (we adopt special needs animals since I have the time of day to spend with them)

what should I do?
I’m so desperate for companionship…yet the last time I remember being with a friend was three years ago…
I even got into therapy because the loneliness is causing a depression…
my therapist seems to think that I don’t need therapy-
she says I just need to feel more confident about myself, less shy
and that I need to make new friends…although she says she understands why its so hard for me to make friends, the situation doesn’t give me many oppurtunities to meet new people

I was thinking that I would join some mommy-and-me type classes after my baby was born and that might help me to meet other young moms with similar interests…but I’m scared that will end up the same way all my other attempts to make new friends ended up (like when I tried volunteering at the humane society and no one would talk to me…)

I’m so lonely and so depressed…I just look in the mirror and think to myself “how pathetic”